Test 1: Managing People and Organizations

As I wrote earlier, my first test was in February and I had lots of fears about it.

When the day for the test finally came, as Professor Haunschild handed out the stapled sheets, she reminded us that the test should last an hour but she would allow an hour and 15 minutes. Of course, when I got the test the first thing I did was put my name on it, and then I read each question to see how bad this was going to be and where I should spend my time. Things did not look good . . .

For a few of the questions, I knew the answers right away. For some I had a vague idea. For a few others, I couldn’t think of a single thing that seemed applicable. I gulped, and prayed, and breathed. I picked out the easiest one and started writing.

The test took me almost the entire hour and 15 minutes. By the end, I thought I had come up with some pretty good answers to all the questions. Even for the questions I thought were hardest, I came up with some answers that sounded fairly good to me.

Then I had to put it out of my mind. I had all afternoon to sit through Dr. McCann’s class. I had to focus on the classes, not the test.

I did not obsess about the test for the next month. I could have worried a lot, but I didn’t. I did think about it a couple of times, but I knew that I had done the best I could, and I resolved to do better next time. I checked Blackboard several times, in the baseless hope that Professor Haunschild would post the results before returning the tests.

Professor Haunschild handed back our tests at the end of our first class in March. We had been in breakout sessions and we came back to find the individually sealed brown-gold 9”x12” envelopes on our desks. The tests, and the grades, were in the envelopes. That made it seem all that much more dramatic to me. I was a little late getting back to our room and many people had already picked up their tests and left for lunch. A few people sat at their desks, silently and intently going through their opened their envelopes. The room felt as tense as on test day.

Now, I like to play it cool. I always play down drama. I never let anyone know that anything is a big deal. So rather than making it seem like I actually cared about the test, I simply opened my envelope and looked at the first page. Written in red was 27.5. I looked at it a little closer and realized that was my total number of points. I figured out that this was out of 35 possible. So I got my calculater, figured out that I got a 78%, and put the test back in the envelope. I packed up my things and left for lunch while some of my class mates poured over their results.

A C. 78% is a C. My head spun and my body felt numb. I got a C. I couldn’t think of anything except getting lunch and getting a C. Even after eating a little I felt stunned, and I went for a little walk to try to clear my head. I resolved to do better on my next test. I don’t know how to study any harder. I don’t know how to be better prepared. I resolved to talk with Professor Haunschild and ask her how I can do better. I know I can do better than this, can’t I?

Obviously, the easiest way to learn how to do better is to read the test and Professor Haunschild’s comments. But for Dr. McCann’s class that afternoon, and for the next two days, I lived in fear of that envelope. Inside that envelope was the absolute evaluation of my knowledge, which of course in my mind was the final judgment of me as a student and as a person. Professor Haunschild might well have written comments about what a dolt I am. I couldn’t face that. I was too afraid.

It wasn’t until 2 days later that I had the guts to go over the test more thoroughly. In addition to the test, the envelope also contained a summary sheet telling me that the mean (average) score was 26, or 74%. Buried deep in the text on this sheet was this little gem: “ . . . you can assume that your grade on this quiz is in the A range if you scored at or above the mean . . .”

My C is actually an A. I spent two days feeling inadequate and disappointed when it seems I actually got an A.

A test, like any other part of a class, is a learning experience. This test in particular was a learning experience for me, since it was the first test I had taken in 18 years. And what did I learn? I learned that I am smart and capable. I learned that I do well on tests. I learned that I could do better. And I learned that it’s more important for me to read the test results in detail than for me to look cool.